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I don't know why we do it, but we associate meanings to meaningless items - dates, things, names. Or at least I do rather often... which is odd, because I don't have a good memory, I forget things way too easily, especially dates. I usually know the date, I just don't always realized that day IS the day. If I were lucky I would see the date and feel unsettled, like something should be happening but I'm not sure what. If it were an important date, my heart will skip a beat... because I know I'm in trouble, like missing my dad's birthday.

So today when your birthday poped up so unexpectedly I had the same reflex. Then I realized it is just a meaningless number now. I mocked myself mentally. Yes, a small part of me hated the fact that it was a false alarm (does it count as a relapse?). I don't know how long it will take for that part to dissapear, I'm not even sure what it is trying to hold on to. Maybe that's just how it is, there is no clean slate.

Anyways. Didn't I mention I was going to post a song? Here you go. You can start watching/listening at 1.33.

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