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Hmm. Hmm. I should seriously make an effort to come back more often. I swear my soul is rotting away each day I work for the corporate... alright, it's not, I am being dramatic, it just feels that way. (Actually I am sure that it is, I just said that because you can't tell me what to feel!!) Anyway.

I was back in Edmonton for the weekend. Slept on couches. Sat on balconies. Saw friends, drank beers. Went for a bike ride that resulted in 15 mosquito bite marks thanks to a detour through a golf course and having to push the bike up a steep hill to get out. Crash into a bush, ended up with some awesome bruises and a pinky populated with torns.  Yes, I said I was back for a baby party, but really, the excitement was all in the packing of the bike helmet.

The question is.. how much longer should one be like this. I suspect I will always be more excited about a bike ride than a baby party. Somethings tells me that is rather concerning. This sounds like the time to tell you that I secretly refuse to grow up. The truth, is actually more embarassing: it's that I am not sure I know what growing up means. What does an adult do, other than live past 18 years of age? I have a job, I think I am suppose to be one, but really, I have no idea. I don't really feel any different. I just don't know how it works. Life is confusing. I suspect there are certain things that can automatically gain you some adult creds, like getting married and have kids, pile on some responsibilities... I am just not sure if I should do those just to jusify my age. I think you probably have to want those things, like, from the inside. I might be eternally stuck in the student era, which would have been fine if it wasn't for this nagging thought that I am outstaying my welcome. Do you know what I mean? It's ok,  I have always known that I live in my own head.

Comments

ws said…
I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way sometimes.
5:13 AM
507 said…
Haha.. great, we should start a support group. :D
5:26 AM
Qing aka 莉晴 said…
Argh, me 3.
11:54 AM
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