We would have the cutest babies ever. You and I. And they would grow up to be geniuses, you know they will.

You know it's true, you've seen my baby pictures. No other babies I know have such perfectly shaped head. I have never seen yours but I had stared at you when you fell asleep once and imagined you bald, without teeth and ear hair. It made me smile. That snore would sound really cute on a baby.

They won't grow up to be cute, just like us. They will also be flat chested like us, although your third cousin gave us a glimmer of hope. It's all right though, because they will be super smart, just like how you were before you started drinking, and one of them will become a plastic surgeon. If we have a boy he will become a mathematician, because most geniuses on tv are mathematicians. They are also often crazy, which means no one can really tell when he is high at work. When they are all grown up we will tell them only one of them is adopted, but we don't remember who because we love them all the same. But if any two of them are attracted to each other, it is probably worth checking it out.

We would have had a beautiful family, you and I.