I've been up for... 40 hours. It was 36 hours of working until the last 4 hours. It was chilling with the ppl from the lab and having drinks. Terrible idea, you would think, if you have been consuming only caffeine drinks. But after that many hours of working you really don't care. Let it burn a hole, I needed a drink.

I think at about 30 hour time point was the first time I cried because I was too tired. It's weird. It wasn't because I was sad or mad, I was just tired. It came out of nowhere. Everyone in the lab knew I have been working non-stop and all wanted to help. I told them it's alright and then suddenly I felt this urge to cry. And tears came out like I was cutting onions. Startling, almost. I got myself to stay focused on the paper so I don't just start bawling. It went away almost as fast as it came.

The first month of 30 has been tough on me. Currently I have 2 black toe nails and one finger nail that is half falling off due to a door accident. Then it was the stupid IELTS. Then work.. a week like this hasn't happened for a long time. I was going by 6 hour sleep each night until last night... I was already on a tight schedule but each day I went in the boss wanted something to be done immediately. Yesterday he got me into his office and said we will start doing some contract research in the next while. I will be quite involved. I should look at the hours allocated for projects proposed for the next 8 month and see if they were realistic. Pages of project description, timeline and hours for everyone. No goals. When should I get back to him? The next hour, because he has a deadline tonight. I looked at the documents, it was prepared a month ago. It sucks to be at the bottom of the procastinating chain. I didn't end up working on the paper as I would/should have. Hence now I feel like a zombie. So effing tired.